Don’t Tell The Bride -Kloe & Lawrence

My previous post was about the show First Dates and asking why anyone would do that on TV.  This is another show like that.  It seems that only control freak brides go on this show so they can make a fuss that everything is wrong.

Kloe wants a small intimate wedding that is serious and romantic.  Lawrence has an idea of getting married in bumper cars.

Kloe and their seven month old baby Orla leave Lawrence for three weeks and they move back in with her Mum.  They are both very tearful.

Lawrence’s best man is Kloe’s older brother Kieron.  Lawrence tells Kieron about the idea of getting married on dodgems – Kieron gives him a very funny look and says why!?

Kieron and Lawrence go to the pier but all around the dodgems is so loud and they have to shout.  Lawrence is sensible enough to realise that they can’t get married there as you wouldn’t hear a word so they could never say their vows in that environment.

After a week he hasn’t got a venue, it’s getting pretty desperate.  He then finds a car park that can accommodate a funfair that he’s going to build.

Kloe and her Mum go to Majorca and she shows her Mum where she’d like to get married on the beach.  She hopes that Lawrence knows her well enough to know that nothing else will compare.  She wants something quiet, elegant and quaint.  She says that she can’t imagine getting married anywhere else – oh dear!

Car park booked Lawrence and Kieron go and find a dress.  Kloe, her Mum and bridesmaids go and look at dresses.  I don’t know why the women do it to themselves.  If I wasn’t picking my dress I wouldn’t even go and look.  Kloe gets very, very upset in the dress that she loves because she knows Kieron won’t pick her a dress like the one she likes.  Kieron picks a sparkly, tight fitting dress for Kloe.  It is beautiful but worlds apart from what Kloe wants.

Lawrence sends Kloe a box with sweets in and an invite.  It is surrounded by sparklers.  Kloe starts to get very snippy and shouty saying that her wedding day isn’t a joke.  The arms are crossed and the mardy face is in place.  I think this is going to be a disaster!

The boys go clay pigeon shooting for the stag do before they go out drinking.  He is the first one that I’ve seen for ages that has arranged a proper hen do for he girls and Kloe says that she’s had a lovely night.

The morning after the night before Lawrence is an absolute mess.  There was a LOT of drink involved!

Six days before the wedding there is a wedding dress, a car park, a cake and rings.  There is a huge amount to do.  The go to a funfair to pick out some rides and see if they can hire them.  The reception will be held in a big top tent.

Kloe’s Mum phones Lawrence to tell him off for not having sent invitations out already.  Kloe goes mental again.  She is completely the wrong sort of person to have gone on this programme!

The day before the wedding Kloe gets to see her dress.  Before her dress is even revealed she’s sobbing.  When she sees the dress she shakes her head.  It must be so awkward for the people who help them in the shops.  Kloe has a face like thunder but she does admit, eventually, that the dress is gorgeous.  She finally smiles when she sees that has has a very pretty veil.

Lawrence lets Kloe get dressed in her own home and he’s booked hair and make up.  Meanwhile he’s at the car park wandering around the funfair.

Kloe loves the bridesmaids dresses that he’s picked.  Again, a fantastic choice.  They are really pretty dresses.

Immediate family are allowed to sit in the bumper cars with everyone else standing around the outside.  Kloe and her Mum approach the ‘venue’ and Kloe rolls her eyes and gets that face of thunder on again.  She starts sobbing and says that she doesn’t want to do this.  She says that she’s not getting in the car, she’s going to walk towards him.  They get married and it’s fine – why make such a huge fuss, she just made herself look a bit daft.

It’s not every brides dream to get married on a bumper car but then you don’t go on a programme like this if you’re not prepared for anything!!


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